Marriage is so much more than the wedding.

First, let me say thank you for all of the kind feedback I received for my apology to my husband. I appreciate each comment and email.

marriage

As I check Pinterest, I notice more and more pins for weddings. Weddings are beautiful and meant to represent one of the greatest milestones in a person’s life. My girly side admires a beautiful dress, cake, and floral arrangement just as much as the next girl.

But…

Why is there a pinterest category solely for this one day and not the marriage as a whole? Marriage is so much more than the wedding.

The wedding gets planned to the smallest detail and any minute problem that arises is addressed immediately. Marriages fail daily because of problems not addressed or are not fought for. I wish we could put as much interest and thought into pursuing a healthy marriage as we do the wedding. Just imagine how much more beauty would exist if we could get marriage right. Women and men of long-lasting, healthy marriages should be sharing their advice and pouring into the lives of younger couples. Young couples should unite and share secrets. Advice and counsel should be found easily.

Finances are stretched to the limit to create the perfect event that is primarily enjoyed by friends and family. Lets be honest ladies, your wedding was or will be spent getting dressed, performing the ceremony, and then completing your social rounds before being needed for photos or another ceremonial task. You will be the leading participant in the occasion which will leave you little time for pure enjoyment of the numerous purchases you have made. So please let me advise you as someone who did not have the extravagant wedding many can’t live without, do not go overboard. Be practical. Do what you feel comfortable doing but listen to that voice that says “this is too much or not needed.” I have never said “I wish I would have spent more money on flowers.” My marriage has still been beautiful and that money was pocketed for better use.

The success of your marriage goes far beyond the traditions of getting married. Many think if they follow the culturally accepted path and have the appearance of a grand romance then their marriage is set up with an advantage.

If I could advise my newlywed self on how to prepare my marriage for success it would be to forget all of my expectations. Marriage is portrayed as romance, honeymoons, and grand gestures in the media. That is part but only a small part. Marriage is overcoming struggles as one, standing by your spouse in failures, and seeing your spouse succeed and remaining proud, not envious. It is finding common ground on decisions that seem impossible to make. It is trust in someone who messes up just like you do. It is forgiveness, patience, and respect. Marriage experiences good and bad, but it is how you experience the bad that will mold your marriage.

I challenge whoever reads this, male or female, to embrace the potential of your marriage. Regardless of your spouse’s perfections or faults do all you can to strengthen your relationship. 

xoxo

April Walker

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4 thoughts on “Marriage is so much more than the wedding.

  1. Loving your blogs! You are doing a fantastic job. We took off to Hawaii alone. Most beautiful wedding ever and I don’t regret not having a huge wedding or family there! Just the two of us and it was perfect! The wedding comes and goes in about 30 minutes but marriage is for the long haul! Great job!

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