I was fresh out of high school with numerous possibilities before me. My plans included independence and adventures. I had a dream of success. At the time I thought it was in the medical field. I pursued experience in the medical field throughout high school and was good at it. I also enjoyed it. I was young and healthy. My skin showed no signs of stress or change. I had the freedom of making decisions based on my own wants and desires.
At 18 I found myself face to face with the consequences of following my own wants and desires. I was 9 months away from becoming a mother.
Afraid does not even begin to cover the emotions of facing something that seems bigger than you are capable of. Luckily, youth provides a naive determination that doesn’t grasp the reality of the situation. I fully understand the statement “ignorance is bliss”.
My skin began to stretch. My perspectives changed. I became a mother.
Motherhood was not at the top of my list. When asked what I wanted to do or become I never would have said become a mom. I eventually planned on having kids but that was all I viewed it as. I didn’t see or understand what it meant to be a mom. The joy of putting someone else’s wants before my own was a foreign concept. Losing my youthful body to the pain of childbirth seemed like a task meant for adults not myself, I was just a kid. Many pep talks and positive reinforcements from myself helped develop my new adult mindset needed for this adult milestone. The transition into motherhood made me new. I was no longer filled with the same dreams. I was left with permanent reminders of the life I created on my once six-pack abs. I had many adventures and success was measured by something more than my finances. My time was now divided between the needs of my baby and needs of myself. What I became was more than I ever thought I could be. The selfless love I experienced through the miracle of childbirth forever changed who I was and who I wanted to be.
I am thankful every day for the opportunity to become a mom.