A woman’s guide to being beautiful


How do women reach the status of having beauty according to Biblical standards?

Inner Beauty

1 Peter 3:1-6

1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

4-6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

Let’s start with responding to the needs of our husbands. This might mean literally waiting on them at times. Cleaning their laundry, cooking their dinner, and catering to their wants are all ways to be responsive. Other times it might be a need of listening, being good company, and showing interest in them physically and emotionally. As a result, your husband who ignores your commands and complaints will be captivated by you.

This passage also clearly states the importance of outer appearance being a lower priority than your inner disposition. With that is the implication that women everywhere are focusing on false achievements of beauty. I love pretty things and feeling pretty myself, but we clearly need to keep a correct hierarchy of the true meaning behind being beautiful.

Beauty is being gentle, good, and gracious. Gracious is being compassionate, courteous, merciful, and polite. We should be loyal to our husbands. Our loyalty doesn’t stop with not “sleeping around”. It includes the way we care for our husband and standing by him in all circumstances. We are told to do all this without anxiety and intimidation. With all of our hormones this almost seems undoable. Our emotional highs and lows sometimes lead our gentle spirit’s down the wrong paths. We must take that into an account prior to addressing a situation. Take time to think and clear your mind before acting in a way that is inappropriate.

Outer Beauty

1 Corinthians 10:31

31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Let’s first address 1 Corinthians 10:31. It applies to everything we do, including an attempt to become beautiful. What we wear, how we wear it, and the message we deliver with our bodies all should be to the glory of God, your Creator. This is kind of like that WWJD bracelet we all used to wear. Ask yourself, if you ever have any doubts on anything, if it is giving God glory or just making him blush with embarrassment?

1 John 2:16

16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life[a]—is not from the Father but is from the world.

The desires of the flesh and eyes are not from the Father. All women desire to be sexy. The appropriate form of sexiness should come from within a marriage. (See Song of SolomonProverbs 5:15-20, Genesis 2:24) Attempting to have sex appeal is a form of lustful behavior (See Proverbs 7). We are warned in Proverbs 7 about the women who entice men and act suggestively with “crafty intent”. She drew attention to herself and put herself in situations to be noticed. The commercials, marketing, and magazines all give an image of beauty by showing flesh or directing our attention to it. This is not from the Father, the warning is clearly stated.

Proverbs 11:22

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout
is a beautiful woman without discretion.

A gold ring is beautiful alone but not in a pig’s snout. A beautiful woman lacking discretion is no longer beautiful. To achieve beauty we must have discretion. Discretion is behaving or speaking in a way that does not reveal too much. How we dress must not be revealing.

Of course lack of clothing in general is revealing. But clothes that are too tight or too loose can also be revealing. Such as, the infamous leggings. I love leggings! They are super comfy and make my legs look tiny, what’s not to love? But if I am trying to follow God’s word then I must wear them with discretion. Longer shirts that cover my bottom make them less revealing. It is a simple way to still wear my favorite leggings and honor God. The loose tops that show too much when you are bending over can be fixed with a cute tank top underneath.

Matthew 5:28

28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28 is directed towards the lustful, but the lusted after can learn from this as well. If we are causing someone to lust then we are causing them to commit adultery. This makes us no more than a mistress, right? Women find it really easy to complain about a man’s wandering eye or cheating nature but what are us women doing to hold them accountable. Should we advertise goods that aren’t for sale? Let’s show love to other women by not making their men stumble and love to the men by making it easier.

Romans 14:13

13-14 Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

5 steps to become beautiful

  1. Be responsive to the needs of our husbands.
  2. Be gentle, good, gracious, and loyal.
  3. Do everything to the glory of God.
  4. Be sexy only for our husbands. (do not seek attention, act suggestively, try to entice or lure anyone else)
  5. Dress with discretion. Be modest.

UPDATE: I just wanted to state that I believe women should still take care of your body and maintain your appearance. I am not a frumpy, Christian woman that thinks we should dress like we are a nun. I LOVE fashion, big hair, make-up, and looking cute too. 😉


April Walker

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