Dear Husband (an apology)

Women everywhere fill many shoes. We do so with as much grace as possible. But even the best of us with the best marriages make mistakes. We act out of instinct instead of thoughtful consideration. I want to acknowledge a fault majority of women including myself forget to apologize for. Maybe with awareness we can empower our men instead of tearing them down.


Dear Husband,

I am writing this letter to apologize when I find it difficult to transition out of my mother role into my wife role. As a mother I give 100% to our children and I embrace my responsibilities. I am fully committed and this is one of the many reasons you love me.

But when all of me is invested in this one role I am lost to all of my other commitments, including you.

I’m sorry for the times when I bark orders instead of asking politely. I’m sorry for the times when I complain if you do something differently. I’m sorry for the looks of disappointment I give when we are out in public and you do something I think others will not approve of. I’m sorry for second guessing the decisions you make. I’m sorry for doubting your intentions.

As much as my might heart might be in the right place I have “mothered” you.

I have treated you as if you are to honor and submit to my authority. We are a team and I do not wish to change you. I apologize when I do not make you feel as such.

I promise to remember I was your wife before I was their mother. I will value you. Β I will stand by you regardless of what others might think. I will learn from your way instead of enforcing mine. I will support your decisions. I will remember the joy you bring me and smile in your presence. I will take time to show my appreciation for you. I will show compassion when you are weak instead of rubbing in your weakness. I will dream for you when you have lost hope. I will believe when you don’t. I will speak for you and not against you.Β I will be your wife, not your mother.

Love always,

Your Wife

dear husband


April Walker

31 thoughts on “Dear Husband (an apology)

  1. We have been RWB fans a long time and so glad I found your blog! You have a beautiful family. I am guilty of blurring the line between parent and wife also. But..there are times they can behave like children..that is also part of why we love them. πŸ™‚ I totally get this post! You write from the heart! From one homeschool mom to another thank you!

  2. Hey April ! Thanks for posting this. I’m not married yet but I could just figure out what marriage is about. Thank you for this words of wisdom. Sometimes we think we must not apologize but it’s not true. I just love Rhett Walker Band and now I’m a big fan of yours, too πŸ™‚

  3. Oh thank you for this reminder. So true. It’s incredibly hard to turn off the “mom” and just be the girl he married sometimes. Especially when you homeschool πŸ™‚ I will be thinking of this often today.

  4. This is such a beautiful post. I recently wrote one similar and came under harsh ridicule from hundreds of people for being a submissive dimwit. You conveyed what I was trying to say beautifully and you really do get what being a wife means. God bless. You can read my post here -

  5. Spot on. We have been married nearly 34 years & our Lord is not done with us yet!! Marriage is constantly growing into oneness & by, the awareness you shared alot of folks never see it.

  6. April, this is beautifully put! I’m single but it holds true for me too! Thank you for sharing this πŸ™‚ Blessings from India!

  7. So well written and very true and heart felt. I don’t know if you realized this but in the first picture in the background the lights from the chandelier make a heart just above their heads!

  8. This is a beautiful letter. I’m not married, but your words have taught me much about marriage. You have a beautiful family. You may not remember me, but I briefly helped you teach children’s church about four years ago when the oldest two were young. I’m so glad you are all doing well! Best wishes!

  9. I think the negative comments come from people who don’t receive the same from their spouse. I say that because you wrote something very very true but it is called submissive when your spouse expects what you wrote and does not return the love.l I know this too well. But i’m happy there are couples out there that love eachother. And so with that congrats to you.

    1. Thank you. I am sorry if you do not have the same. Marriage is hard work. It’s even harder if you are the only one working for it. All I can say is if it’s something you wish to fight for then perfect your role in the marriage and have hope that your spouse will be influenced to do the same. My marriage was fought for so I promise it is doable. Don’t lose hope πŸ˜‰

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s